He leaves and the air is clear
Back to my cave for the next year
I watch strangers live my life, a gleaming dream
Of myself if I could only get out of bed
Pretty girl skinny girl funny girl nice girl
And while they stand in the mirror, mini skirt and lashes
I am cleaning up the ashes of the home I burned down
Match after match, burn after burn
I ruined it by myself and still I never learn
How to be worthy of all I have
The love I do not deserve and the people I unnerve
And I cannot shake how fake I feel when I
Try on the shoes because I see it in their eyes
Little girl stupid girl ugly girl weird girl
I didn’t want forever
I only wanted to be someone’s first choice
But my voice has tortured the next boy
Each strung up in a web, little dolls
Death row
And I have cast one away again
Routine, rinse and repeat
I retreat into quiet, and I don’t understand why it
Follows me home and lives with me
My reminder of who I could be
If in my wake, there was no debris
Of everything I wanted
Now I am stuck here, imprisoned and haunted
Adia Smith is a rising senior at PPCHS. Her confessional pieces reflect real experiences and are an outlet to express her emotions. Smith writes to show others that struggle is universal and encourages others to write about their lives.
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